


No sound but the snow

by AuburnWolf



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Feels, What Have I Done, stannismonth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 13:19:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5292335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuburnWolf/pseuds/AuburnWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So. Stannis is my fave character and I try to highlight him the best I can. November is Stannismonth so I wanted to try to write something. I was thinking about him, his family and his relationship with Selyse, and I've written this.<br/>I'm not an English native (please if I've made mistakes or something could have been written better, tell me) and this is the first thing I've ever written. I know that I've messed up with verbs. Be gentle, please haha</p>
            </blockquote>





	No sound but the snow

**Author's Note:**

> GRRM forgive me, I have borrowed your characters.

He went up the stairs in a rush, trying to regain his composure back once he arrived at the bedroom door. 

_ He mustn't show his fear, he couldn't shatter, not in this way, not in front of her. _

He opened the door gently and placed himself beside his wife, who remained still, staring at the bed. He began to look around, impatient. The room was dark except for a  candle burningfeebly on the windowsill, trying to keep glowing. It struggled. As the child, he thought. It was also too cold. He couldseehis own breath. He ground his teeth.

He was about to burst, when his attention focused on Shireen, who faintly complained under the pile of blankets and bearskins, coughing and trembling, shuddering because of fever. His eyes filled with tears. For an instant. 

_ He mustn't show his fear, He couldn't shatter, not in t his way, not in front of her. _

He stared at the ground, closed his eyes, breathed deeply, clenched his fists and his teeth. Anger and fear, there, just below the surface, but always ready to explode. He looked at Selyse, hoping she could give him answers to the questions he didn't know how to formulate. She lifted her eyes, tears ready to burst, with the same voice as ever, stern, like a  whip, spat: "There's nothing we can do, at this point, but pray".

He smacked his lips and lift his eyes. This didn't go unnoticed and Selyse rose from her chair, furious: "Don't you dare".

Stannis blocked her, clasping her arms and shaking her, slightly: "Where is your God now, woman? Do you think this could help? They have no mercy. The Gods. They laugh about us, about our pain, they take away everything you love. I've learned this long time ago". 

She seemed to understand, her eyes softened, and clasped him tightly in her arms. He froze and remained silent. They have never loved each other, no. They've found themselves together in this, by chance, by a strange twist of fate...or of Robert, who had dictated it. He swore under his breath, thinking that, maybe, if THAT THING, during their wedding night, had not happened, things would have been different now. Probably they would not love each other anyway, no one had never loved him and growing up, he had understood that  no  one would have never  do  that ,  but they could have been  happy  maybe  or  they would have been close  to  that . He  knew that  he  couldn' t be able to give her what she wanted, he knew to not be easy, not being able to love and be loved, not be enough. And he, who in war always went forward at all costs,  wasn't able to do that in his relationships. This fear of not be enough, made him give up right away. Mostly with women...especially with her, who had found herself inextricably linked to him. 

_ He mustn't show his fear, He couldn'tshatter, not in this  way, not in front of her. _

They had never loved each other, but she had always been able to understand him. He smiled bitterly, maybe after all they were made for each other. And for the first time in  years he found himself wondering why it had happened. He broke the silence, looking her in the eyes: "How did we gethere?"

She seemed to understand him once again. "It has never been easy, Stannis. It has started with pain and pain is the only thing that has always stayed with us. Our wedding...the  children..." - she stopped, voice broken \- "Shireen's disease " - she said, turning to her, looking at her with a sweetness in her eyes he's not seen in a long time, and when she turned again, tears were streaming down her face. "Do you remember how happy we were when she was born? She was so small. A fragile little bird, but you've told me that she would have made it...that I would have made it.. that WE would have made it. I've given nothing to you...nothing...except her...but she has iron inside, like you. She...is your daughter "- she said sniffing  - "she has to...the kids...the proof of my failure. I'm sorry I haven't been enough...I haven't done my duty...but she has to survive".

He didn't talk, but he heldher tight. He couldn't remember the last time he did it. He swallowed with difficulty, feeling guilty for everything. He would have wanted to tell her that she had not failed, that it had been also his fault, especially his fault, and that Shireen wasn't "nothing" but she was everything, the most important thing in his life, his most precious asset. But no words came out, he had never been good at that: he loved silence, he loved to be alone, to not have to deal too much with others, but he owed her that much. He took her face in his hands, lifted her chin and gently placed a quick kiss on her lips. Tightening her closer, muttering into her hair, he said: She's our daughter. She will survive".

_He could show his fear. He could shatter. In this way. Just in front of her._

Looking around uncomfortably, he added, hesitating: "You can light more candles, if you like, Selyse. If you pray harder, maybe your God will listen to you". 

He did not believe, but he knew how important it was for her, and this small gesture, so foreign to him, was rewarded with a gentle smile. And before he could say anything else,  she kissed him. And it was a kiss that tasted like past, family and love...that love that there had never been but it was not too late to grow. They were interrupted by a sudden noise, a surprised gulp. And when they turned, they found Shireen, seemingly asleep, but with a smile painted on her face. They looked each other, and Selyse, smiling, said that maybe there would have been no need of other lights, perhaps the answer they needed was different. He smiled at her sheepishly and nodded, looking at the ground, with his inseparable frown...and decided to deepen that kiss.  

Outside the Tower, snow was gently falling. There was no other sound, but the snow.

He had never felt so peaceful in his life.


End file.
